thisonetime_withkeith | One Zombie; Video, Action for New Bark Town

[For a moment, you can hear the confused murmurs of a guy trying to figure out what the heck this thing in his hands is. With a few choice curse words and some shaking the device, the feed flicks on and you get an up close of his face and his eye.]

Well there we go! Ain't this technelogical. Okay then. Holy shit! Any ah y'all out there? Ro? Nick? Coach? You ain't never gonna believe what happened! I got...

Wait for it...

[He splits into a grin and a laugh escapes.]

A Pokemon! Look! [He points the gear down towards the ground to reveal a red pig looking Pokemon.] I ain't sure if it's a girl or a boy, but either way I decided to name it Suee. I ever tell you guys about the time me and my buddy Keith went pig wrastlin'? Now, Keith thought he was big and bad enough to take on a whole pen full'a the bastards, but it turns out pigs are a lot stronger than he gave 'em credit for. He was-

[It's about that time that Suee sneezes and a puff of black smoke comes out, cutting Ellis off as he begins coughing and sputtering.]

Shit- Aha, anyway... Did you know 'pparently I'm supposed to breed these things? Got a breeders handbook 'n everything. That sure is weird, but I ain't complainin'! I am gonna breed the best goddamn suckers you ever did see, just you wait! Hehe...

And y'know what? Now that I think about it- I been too busy takin' all this in to actually think about it 'til now, but- I ain't seen a single zombie since gettin' here! S'that mean there ain't none here? Am I finally safe for once? Man if so, you guys need'a get your asses here pronto! You guys can see this right?

Niiiick? You out there man? Rochelle? Coach?! I ain't talkin' to myself am I?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

STOP. I want to hear more of this story! Tell me more about your buddy, Keith and his fight with the oinkbeasts! You were just getting to the good part!

[She don't give a shit about your friends and zombies. You can't just stop a story mid sentence like that!]

[He doesn't even realize she's blind, and he keeps the video going. Even though she can't see it, his eyes widen in surprise at the sound of her voice.]

Whoa! Well hey there! [He gives his device a wave into the camera.] You ain't one ah my friends, but it's nice t'meet ya all the same.

Oh and, y'know. It was just your typical pig wrastlin' gone wrong.

[She doesn't exactly advertise it. Why advertise it when you can play the blind card at your advantage?

Also she's supposed to act like she's human right?]

Who are you! You should tell me who you are. It's unfair not to tell a lady your name first, you know. Isn't that a human manner thing? Where you're supposed to be polite to girls? [Nailed it.]

I don't oinkbeast wrestle! How am I supposed to know what's typical?

[And Ellis is slow enough not to even really realize it.]

Oh! Wow, I'm sorry. I guess the zombies ate my manners. Anyways, name's Ellis. [The human comment goes over his head.] Sorry 'bout that. I'll make sure to get some new manners 'fore I talk to anybody else.

I gotta question though! Why ya call 'em oinkbeasts? And you should totally try wrastlin' with 'em. It's a fun game! You and Suee could do it if ya wanted to!

Your apology is accepted because you were so nice about it! As long as you have learned your lesson, there is no need to so harshly punish you! [Excellent. new favorite human to pick on. He's really dumb and this is so much fun.] Since I am feeling so generous, I'm Terezi Pyrope. I'm a Dragon Tamer because I'm that awesome!

Because they're beasts and they oink! [She is sooooo smooooothhh.] I think I will pass! I am more of a spectator about these things. [Hah. She cracks herself up. The only thing she spectates is how black everything is now.]

[Phew, he dodged that bullet. How could he go on if he offended someone irreparably so soon after ending up here? That would just suck.]

Thanks, girl! It's awesome that you're a dragon tamer, by the way. Man I bet you have some'a the strongest Pokemons, don'tcha? Your name even sounds kinda like a dragon name!

[... Wow, this girl makes so much sense.]

Oh! I geddit, okay. Weeell, you're missin' out, 'cuz oinkbeasts are fun to wrastle with. I still think ya should try it. S'pretty fun t'watch too though! Like I was sayin', they pig piled on top of Keith all at once. I think they cracked every rib the guy had! It was pretty funny- not haha kinda funny, I guess, but seein' all those pigs on top of him... He'd have screamed bloody murder if he could get any air...

[She turns on her video. It's upside down for a moment before she turns it right side up. She only knows that because she knows what sides the buttons are on. Look at her precious dratini. It is so precious.]

I'm a dragon tamer in training, but it's going to be the strongest and I'll become the strongest! My team will obviously be superior to anyone's!

[She considers calling him rude for implying she's blind, but she's gonna play along for now.] Did the oinkbeasts kill him? What happened to him after? You can't just let someone die unless they deserved it! That's unjust.

[Whoa hello there! Suddenly a face! He grins at her and gives her another wave. When she shows him Dratini, he grins harder. Man he loves Pokemon, it's like seeing things out of his childhood dreams.]

Shit that looks like one strong dragon!

And oh no, Keith's way too tough for that. A few cracked ribs ain't gonna kill 'im! A few weeks in the hospital and he was back in tip top shape like the badass dude he is.

[She sticks out her tongue at him. Wow that thing is long.]

Pyralspite is going to be the strongest! I was told she can evolve and that's what's gonna happen! She's gonna be strong and evolve.

Do you have more stories about him?

[He sticks his out too! His is... considerably shorter. Huh.]

Well that's an odd name, but pretty cool too. Sounds dragon-y just like your name.

Oh man, I have so many!

Pyralspite is a great dragon! The lusus of the great Neophyte Redglare whom was obviously the best! She was chosen by a dragon after all!

Good! Because I want to eventually hear them all.

Lusus...?

[She says some funny words... But he doesn't mind! He's really starting to like her a lot despite it.]

Really? Nobody ever really wants to hear 'em- mostly on account of the fact we're always fightin' zombies, I guess. They just wanna make sure my head's in the game and I ain't distracted, I bet.

She was Redglare's guardian. Raised her and everything!

You aren't fighting zombies here! You're going to be raising pokebeast like everyone else! You said you were a breeder, right? [Oh no...]

Alright, but why'd ya call her a Lusus? And... Who's Redglare?

I sure did! I dunno how I'm gon' do it, but I guess I'll figure it out. I just gotta find some pigs.

Oh. It's a very sophisticated way to call them guardian! Redglare is a great legislacerator! She did things for the lawful good!

You should tell me when you figure it out. You can tell me about your eggs when they produce some! Tell me what they look like since I won't be able to see them. [Gonna see if she can pull the sympathy card now.]

A... a legis-what-erator?

Oh I can tell you all abo- Wait... Whatcha mean you won't be able to see 'em?

They punish wrongdoers!

Because I'm blind! That is what happens when you are blind. You can't see!

One Zombie; Video, Action for New Bark Town

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