Two Zombies; Video

[thisonetime_withkeith]

[The feed clicks on, and Ellis looks kind of exasperated. He takes off his hat and wipes at his forehead, before settling it back on his head and stares at the camera.]

Alright y'all, I gotta problem.

I got this pig. Her name is Suee, and she has maaajor confidence issues! I don't even know why, 'cuz she is the prettiest pig ya ever did see. I want her to know that and believe it! Because one day she's gonna need lots of confidence. 'Cuz... Well. I guess that kinda leads into my next problem.

Can anybody tell me how to find her a boyfriend? 'Cuz she's gonna have to make some babies one day, and I figure she's gonna need confidence and stuff in order to do that. But I been lookin' everywhere and I just can't find no damn pigs anywhere! So help a guy out, will ya? My pig and I need it real bad.

Comments

[video]

[thisonetime_withkeith]

N-no?? I don't think so? I ain't ever been humped by a dog though! I mean Keith has, but that's a whole 'nother story entirely.

...Magic pig pimp? [Huh. That's a good name for what he's gotta do!] Well I have made her fight, but I also got to be a magic pig pimp, too!

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Who's Keith?

[This guy sounds way too happy about that.]

Sounds like it's your lucky day.

[video]

[thisonetime_withkeith]

He's my best friend! He's the coolest dude ever, man. We get up to so much together- well, we used to before the zombies came, but that's another story. Right now I wanna focus on my pig!

It is, even if I never thought I would be one.

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Of fucking course. It was only a matter of time. He couldn't be dumb but sane, that'd be asking too damn much.]

[flatly] You and your friend fought zombies.

[Next to that, pig dating advice sounds rational.]

Maybe she needs some friends her species. Try finding her some other pigs to grunt at and do whatever pigs do with.

[video]

[thisonetime_withkeith]

We sure did!

[If Blake is skeptical, Ellis has no idea.]

Well that's what I'm tryin' to do, it just ain't easy! There ain't no pigs 'round here though, so it's kinda hard to do that.

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

That 80s movie revival fad'll be over as soon as people remember it wasn't that great the first time around. What were you and your friend in, one of those budget ones trying to cash in before it goes out of style?

Pigs don't fall out of the sky. There have to be other ones around here somewhere, unless people ate them all.