Two Zombies; Video

[thisonetime_withkeith]

[The feed clicks on, and Ellis looks kind of exasperated. He takes off his hat and wipes at his forehead, before settling it back on his head and stares at the camera.]

Alright y'all, I gotta problem.

I got this pig. Her name is Suee, and she has maaajor confidence issues! I don't even know why, 'cuz she is the prettiest pig ya ever did see. I want her to know that and believe it! Because one day she's gonna need lots of confidence. 'Cuz... Well. I guess that kinda leads into my next problem.

Can anybody tell me how to find her a boyfriend? 'Cuz she's gonna have to make some babies one day, and I figure she's gonna need confidence and stuff in order to do that. But I been lookin' everywhere and I just can't find no damn pigs anywhere! So help a guy out, will ya? My pig and I need it real bad.

Comments

Video

[brokethecycle]

Don't you think you might be rushing it a little? Maybe she's not ready for a relationship.

Video

[thisonetime_withkeith]

Naw, don't be silly! Besides, we been here for like three weeks now, that's a long time! And if pigs're as scarce as they seem, she might miss out on her chance!

Video

[brokethecycle]

I dunno...

Maybe if you tried going to the next town you'll have better luck? Someone has to be breeding tepigs somewhere.

Video

[thisonetime_withkeith]

If I do, you're comin' with me, right? I can't go alone! That'd be real lonely...

[Video]

[francia]

[France's expression is clearly one torn between great amusement due to the way Keith presents this and emphasizing with the situation. He's going to stick with express]

My Milotic, Cecelia is very shy, too. I spent a lot of extra time grooming her and doing one-on-one training between her and wild pokémon. Feeling pretty and confident in her own strength came over time with that.

I haven't tried breeding her yet, but it's not completely necessary to breed a particular pokémon with the exact same species.

[Video]

[thisonetime_withkeith]

Oh! I can do that. Groomin' her could be real fun. I just need a brush and some bows and all that... Hmm. I bet I could get all that from the Pokemart. Yeah! She'll be real happy with some bows, I bet. Make her feel pretty.

Also, uh... Whatcha mean that she can breed with...other species...?

[Video]

[francia]

[France giggles.]

Yes! Good accessories are essential to making a fine lady. If you like, I could send you some extras of the gold accessories I recently got my Ninetales for Starter Appreciation Day.

[His cheerful expression falters a little.]

Well, my Umbreon once bred with a Swinub...

[text]

[pianosongs]

A boyfriend for your pig...

I'm guessing you're a breeder.

[text]

[thisonetime_withkeith]

I sure am! Not really sure how it happened or why but thats what I was told I am. A breeder. Which means I need to get her a boyfriend so she can start making the babies!

And then Im not sure what to do with em but I guess Ill figure that one out when it happens.

[text]

[pianosongs]

Most of the breeders seem to be in the trade of selling eggs or newly-hatched pokémon. But... finding your pokémon a boyfriend may be a harder challenge. You may benefit from finding a breeder who can help explain how things function.

Video

[red_roses]

Y-You could try catching a Ditto....they can breed with anything....

Video

[thisonetime_withkeith]

A ditto? Hold on, lemme look it up!

[And he does, and when he finally gets to Ditto's page on the Pokedex, his eyes widen.]

But... it's just a blobby thing! How the heck is that supposed to work?

Re: Video

[red_roses]

I'm not sure, really. Maybe it's because all it can do is transform?

[Video]

[hoperaider]

What Pokemon is she? I believe there are a couple of pig-like Pokemon.

[Video]

[thisonetime_withkeith]

Oh, there are? Well, she's a Tepig! I haven't found any other like her where I'm at. And I don't wanna breed her with other things that ain't pigs! Because that's just weird and I think she'd probably like a pig for a boyfriend anyway.

Well, I mean, when she gets confidence anyway.

[Video]

[hoperaider]

I know what you mean with it being strange. My flying squirrel bred with my electric zebra once.

[Never again will he speak of that. Okay, flipping through some pages of a book in front of him, muttering "Tepig, Tepig" under his breath.]

Eureka! Okay, it can breed with a Pokemon called Spoink! [Checking the 'dex, now.] Hm, according to the Pokedex, it's not found in the wild anywhere, but Tepig can be found in Mt. Mortar and Cinnabar's Volcano. Still, someone might be breeding Spoink, so if nothing else you can try your luck with getting an egg!

Oh, and I'm being terribly rude! I'm Jake English, it's a pleasure to meet you!

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

How can you even tell if a pig has issues? It's a fucking pig.

[video]

[thisonetime_withkeith]

Well yeah, but it's a pig with feelin's! Y'know how you can tell when dogs are scared and shit? Well I can tell when my pig's scared!

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

And you can tell when she wants a boyfriend.

[A horrible idea occurs to him] What does she do, hump your leg?

[ghostytrainer]

Well, for starters, two Pokemon don't have to be the exact same species in order to breed! They just need to be in the same egg group. For example, I am guessing Suee is in the field group, which actually gives her a WHOOOOOLE lot of options since it's a huge group.

[Hot Skitty on Wailord action, Ellis. Pokemon are weird.]

That being said, there's no need to rush her into a relationship, especially if she's shy. Best to just let her ease into it at her own pace. Oh and it doesn't hurt to give her a little extra praise and affection. That has always seemed to help my Venusaur and he's always been on the timid and self-conscious side. Poor little guy was even scared to evolve for the longest time.

[thisonetime_withkeith]

That's what people keep sayin', but man that's just so weird! Like, I was tellin' France about how I tried makin' a cat-dog, y'know like from that one cartoon. But it didn't work! And Keith got all scratches and bit because of it. They just wouldn't do nothin' with each other! So how's that work here!?

[They relaly, really are weird. Even by his standards.]

I'll give her all the praise and stuff she needs, believe it! I love my little piggy. She's the sweetest. But I'm supposed to breed her, ain't I? So I kinda do have to rush, don't I? I don't wanna do this wrong or somethin'. What if I get kicked out of this place for not breedin' like I was told to?

[ghostytrainer]

[John shrugs.]

Pokemon are weird like that. They aren't like normal animals, I mean hell they all lay eggs even if they're mammals. Don't worry though, it's not like there's anybody here to enforce the roles we've been given here or anything. My fiancee is a breeder and she collects badges, I'm a trainer and I do a little breeding on the side. And there are people who decide to do none of the above.

It's whatever you want to do, man. There's no rush or worries. If you do end up leaving this place, it won't be because you didn't start breeding your Pokemon fast enough or often enough, trust me.

[Audio]

[melodicnocturne]

Are we talkin' pokémon pigs, or, like...actual pigs here? 'Cuz I'm pretty sure that's important to keep in mind here.

[Audio]

[thisonetime_withkeith]

Oh, I mean Pokemon pig! She's a tepig, the little cutie. She can breathe fire and everything! Ain't ever seen a regular pig that could breathe fire, so she's better than any ol' regular pig by default.

[Audio]

[melodicnocturne]

Oh, well then. Today's your lucky day! The name's Demyx, and I've got just the thing for this sorta situation. I've got a psychic type with a special ability, he can talk to me in my head and tell me what other pokémon are sayin'. If you'll gimme a few minutes of face time on the gear with her I can ask him to see if he could talk to her for ya! If nothin' else, I can help you air out the situation with her so ya might have an idea of what to do, yeah?