Two Zombies; Video

[thisonetime_withkeith]

[The feed clicks on, and Ellis looks kind of exasperated. He takes off his hat and wipes at his forehead, before settling it back on his head and stares at the camera.]

Alright y'all, I gotta problem.

I got this pig. Her name is Suee, and she has maaajor confidence issues! I don't even know why, 'cuz she is the prettiest pig ya ever did see. I want her to know that and believe it! Because one day she's gonna need lots of confidence. 'Cuz... Well. I guess that kinda leads into my next problem.

Can anybody tell me how to find her a boyfriend? 'Cuz she's gonna have to make some babies one day, and I figure she's gonna need confidence and stuff in order to do that. But I been lookin' everywhere and I just can't find no damn pigs anywhere! So help a guy out, will ya? My pig and I need it real bad.

Comments

[ghostytrainer]

[This face, Ellis. Just...this face.]

Err...that was me you were telling that story to. [Like...seriously not even ten minutes ago, bro.] But no, you can't. Typically the baby ends up being the mom's species but there's a slight chance you'll end up with one or two of the dad's. So, unfortunately no...no new species that way.

Though uh...I have to ask. [He shouldn't. He really, really shouldn't but how often does John stop and think about shit like this?] How did your friend manage to lose the same eye twice?

[thisonetime_withkeith]

[Oh. Oops. He got so damn caught up in the idea of actually making a catdog that he forgot he'd already told the story.]

Ah, shit. Sorry man! Just... dude, the idea of makin' it's so exciting that I plum forgot. Anyway, that's so sad! I want a catdog so bad! Why is biology so complicated? Are ya sure? I mean, maybe if ya just... I dunno, tried lots of times, it'd eventually mutate?

... I don't understand your question. Whatcha mean how'd he lose the same eye twice?

[ghostytrainer]

[John opens his mouth and starts to respond, only to stop before even managing to get a word out. He holds his mouth open for a few seconds, closes it, thinks for a minute, then opens it again...no wait never mind. He didn't have an answer that time either. Okay, hold on thinking...]

You know I...don't know? I mean, I have never heard of it happening but anything's possible, right? And I guess all these different species had to come from somewhere...

[Follow your dreams, Ellis. Follow your dreams.]

But anyway it's just...you said he lost his eye once or twice before the cat and the dog attacked him. How did he manage to do that? Did he have a glass eye or something?

[thisonetime_withkeith]

[It's okay. Honestly! Take your time. He's used to these kinds of things. Sometimes he just says things so profoundly deep that people just stare and become speechless. He's patient.]

My thoughts exactly! So I'ma try it.

Anyway, you keep makin' it sound like it's this weird thing that he lost his eye twice like that! It's just Keith man, this shit happens! And y'know, they've offered him glass eyes before but he said those were for sissies.

[ghostytrainer]

Err...right. Okay.

[He's just...gonna go with it. Perhaps multiple eye loss is normal for his world.]

Anyway, good luck to you and your catdog ventures. My name is John Egbert, by the way. Since I never actually did introduce myself.

[thisonetime_withkeith]

[Go with it John. Don't ask questions. You'll never sleep at night trying to figure it out.]

Aw, thank ya, man. And Nice t'meet ya! Mine's Ellis.

[ghostytrainer]

Nice to meet you too! If you have any other questions about breeding or anything, feel free to ask. I'm not a breeder myself, but my fiancee is so I have picked up on a few things.

[He smiles.]

And if there's anything I can't answer, I'm sure she can because she knows basically everything.